Let's play a game.it's called give Wen a heart attack and severe gastric.any takers?

apple dior little cupcakes

come back, i miss you.

sitting on the chair in the balcony looking at the stars, trying to find some sort of peace and comfort knowing that i hurt you.

it's hard.

i understand what i put you through. i want to explain, but i can't find the words that will make it all better, because i know, that words won't help.

but please, just come back.

never watch seasons 1-6 of greys anatomy when u're sick. u'll end up feeling suicidal. and feel like you have cancer instead of a simple sore throat.

BEWARE!

i am sick.

me time

it's been a while since i;ve been alone with my thoughts. and boy do i have so many thoughts.

my goals in life. short term and long term.

it really surprises me that just when i think i've done all the growing up i have to do, i realize that i'm not that grown up after all. and that there's always room to grow.

i am suddenly full of the urge to go out, sit at the beach and just outline what i want my life to be in 10 years.

that's what life is about. always moving forward, and never looking back, unless to learn from my mistakes.

awfully bad timing

you hate something so much, you dread it... and den life just decides to make things interesting and throws into the mix-something that makes you happier than anything else has made you in a long while.

so you're left staring at the puzzle, trying to figure out your feelings, do you stay or do you go?

oh my sweet little cloistered girl

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

so i've been working for about 5 weeks. i suppose its about time for me to pen a few lines about this experience.

i'm not gonna lie. its hard. the hours are ridiculously long, the pay is shit and the work is just plain tedious. i have an hour of lunch, crappy food may i add.

so the day begins at exactly 6.42am when i force myself out of my nice warm bed and start the usual morning rituals-showering, brushing teeth and what not. then a hurried bye to the parents and im off in my car.

is it worth it? that question will be answered in due time my friends. worry not.

first things first. wen is interning in kpmg. *gasp:KPMG?! thats AWESOME!* well yeah i suppose it is, what with it being one of the big four in the WORLD. whcih is a pretty good place to start my first internship, no? im pretty happy i got this internship. no wait let me clarify that. i am not happy that i have to intern but i AM happy that when forced to intern, i intern in a good reputable establishment. i mean, to be one of the big four you gotta know your shit right. so its the best place to start off my promising accounting career.

what a load of bullcrap. okay everything is true except the part where i end with 'my promising accounting career'. after these 5 weeks of interning, my doubts about accounting have grown. i mean, do i really want to go through years of this just for that dangling carrot at the end of the tunnel? a hefty paycheck every month, bonuses that people dream about, is it worth it if i don't enjoy what i do?

then i pause to think, maybe the reason that i hate accounting so much is because i keep saying i hate it. you know the whole, mind over matter thing.. maybe i'm just not giving accounting a fair chance? the top execs have accounting backgrounds. so maybe just maybe, accounting isnt that bad right?

but i really want to pursue psychology and economics. gosh i have so many things i want to do with my life. cue-vienna by billy joel.

okay i realize im getting off track.

is this worth all the blood sweat and tears? okay just blood from paper cuts and sweat from the heat.

well i think this has been a really good lesson to me. i mean i knew that i had to pay my dues when i start working. vaguely. i mean the movies show ppl paying their dues and they don't look so bad rite? but now i really AM paying my dues. and i realize, nothing worth wanting is ever easy to get. you stop at the bottom of the food chain and slowly work your way up the dog eat dog world.

i look at the employees of kpmg and think, god, i never really pictured working to be this hard. they work during the weekends, they go home at 3-4am sometimes. sometimes they dont even go back except to shower. at first i thought they were just workaholics. but after a while, i realize. HEY they really have to do it, otherwise they'll just get fired.

i suppose this really opened my eyes to the fact that MONEY IS NOT EASILY EARNED. if my dad ever saw this post he'd be delighted. he always says money isnt easy to earn, but sure is easy to spend. and i scoffed at him and said, yes dad i know, i worked before (topman and dome).

it never really hit me that it could actually be THIS hard. ive been looking forward to finishing my degree and starting work, i always thought it looked glamourous. you get to dress up in work clothes, go to work, yell at people, type stuff in the keyboard have lunch with clients.. but hey, it's not a very simple thing.

what i'm saying is that, i'm not the spoilt little girl i was before dec 15th anymore.i'm actually thinking about passive income, planning my investments so that i wont have to work till i die.

i'm learning that life isnt just a bed of roses. you have to work hard. no matter what. thats how you succeed.

moaning and groaning? well, that's just gonna get you fired.

so why not save the ton of energy you spend on grumbling and put it into constructive work. at the end of the day, you succeed. and life will get better.